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The Languages of Love

BY: Jacel de Jesus • May 05, 2019

I was sitting at the back of the church for the Sunday mass, praying and anticipating that the homily will serve me something, a meaningful lesson, which I anticipate to bring home and be part of my life guide.

The priest started his homily with a joke about a man who refuses to get up from his bed because he feels that people don’t like him.   But the man’s mother said, no, you need to get up and go out there because you’ve got a very important obligation in the community today, remember you are the priest.

We often have this feeling, triggered by insecurities and low self-esteem.  These sudden surges of emotions that at times stop us from pursuing a lot of things.  Most of the time, we fail to accomplish our goals simply because we refuse to try, so afraid to show up and be present at the place where we want to be or need to be.

When the priest started his formal homily, he began by mentioning “The Five Love Languages” by Mr. Gary Chapman.  This inspiring book is not just for married people but can be applied to and for everyone.  As such, I decided to share it through examples that are related to confidence building. In the order and words shared by the presiding priest, I am keeping it as is.

1.  Affirmation

Affirmation plays a big role in building self-confidence.  Words can mean a lot, and it can either make or break us. A simple hi, how are you, and you look great are invigorating capsules to boost our energy.  It is a language of love that we hope we can all develop.

2.  Touch

This is one of the most powerful languages of love.  Physical touch can instantly give you a different level of confidence.  A firm handshake from a client means he/she is ready for business and a simple tap on your shoulder by a friend says that he/she cares.

3.  Service

Action speaks louder than words.  This is a common statement that we hear from a lot of people.  Service in the language of love means action and it is usually done with effort and energy.  The giving of a seat to an elderly person or to a pregnant woman is an outstanding act of service. Hence, knowing the thought of the act, how could one person not feel confident?

4.  Gift

Some say that the easiest language of love is through gift giving.  It is one visible language that can easily be received and appreciated. Here, we don’t talk of the price or the brand of the gift.  Remember the greeting or love card days where the giver will find time to write his/her message? What promptly gives us the confidence is the labor of love from the giver.

5.  Presence

Time is gold. In both personal and professional life, it can be considered as a full language of love. The simple gesture of being physically present and the time shared through a short talk is enough to show you’re indeed important.  Thus, it is more than an assurance to help you feel the confidence you need.

Once you started performing the languages of love, there is no way that you can feel less confident of yourself.  You just have to know, appreciate and start enjoying the languages of love.

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